| Author |
Titles |
| "Q" and "A" |
Rant: The Bisexuality FAQ |
| Abraham Lincoln |
Rant: Lincoln's Last Speech |
| Adam Carl |
Fiction: Though I Sleep In Exile |
| Alison Daniel |
Poetry: Eros In Wonderland
Poetry: Odysseus Goes Tripping
Poetry: A Last Violent Test of Faith Under Diocletian
Poetry: Hermes
Poetry: Watering the Moon
Poetry: Moving On |
| Alma J. Foster |
Fiction: Little Wolff's Wooden Shoes |
| Ambrose Bierce |
Fiction: Valuable Advice from Ambrose Bierce
Fiction: More Valuable Advice from Ambrose Bierce |
| Amy Barbour |
Rant: An Argument from the Nonviolent Liberal |
| Andrew McDevitt |
Rant: Punk Lyrics from the Unlikeliest of Places |
| Andrew Wilson |
Fiction: Osai's Razor
Fiction: Matsukaze |
| Anne Marie Ellison |
Rant: Here's What I Hate About Christmas: All the Fucking Naysayers. |
| Architeuthis dux (the Giant Squid) |
Rant: Why I Propose to Wrest Control of This "Almanac(k)" From it's Filthy, Simian Purveyors; How I shall Accomplish the Deed; and How You, the Fair Reader, shall Benefit |
| Aristotle |
Rant: Practical Advice for the Tragic Poet |
| Aurora Fadlan |
Fiction: The Crispin and How She Learned the Secret of Swabian Leather Tanning, part 1 of 2
Fiction: The Crispin and How She Learned the Secret of Swabian Leather Tanning, part 2 of 2 |
| B.R. Dionysius |
Poetry: A Very Ugly Australian |
| Barry Blumenfeld |
Poetry: Speedway
Poetry: The Dual
Poetry: The Vision After the Sermon
Poetry: Breasts with Red Flowers
Poetry: Caruso Sings Santa Lucia
Poetry: Independence Day, 1984
Poetry: My War with the Robins |
| Basho |
Poetry: The Monkey's Raincoat |
| Benjamin Franklin |
Rant: A Letter on the subject of DAYLIGHT SAVING To THE AUTHORS of The Journal of Paris
Rant: How I Became a Printer in Philadelphia (from his Autobiography) |
| Brett Richard Fennessy |
Poetry: Getting Free
Poetry: Thoughts at Evening
Poetry: Inside Boxing
Poetry: O-Saru
Poetry: Curriculum
Fiction: All in Good Time |
| Brian Smith |
Rant: Recycled Christmas: One Family's Revolution Against the Shopping Mall |
| Byron Adams |
Poetry: Minivan Crash on I-95 |
| C. Nolan Deweese |
Poetry: Trash Day |
| Cara Jeanne Spindler |
Rant: Dear Mr. Brooks:An Open Letter to That Guy Who Wrote That Fucking Article in the Atlantic Monthly
Poetry: Chonchón at Night
Poetry: Gilt Mirrors
Poetry: Tractors I: Plough
Poetry: As the Body Emerged from the Sculptor's Cage
Poetry: Mary Celeste
Poetry: Patagonia Transcript |
| Catherine Daly |
Poetry: Salsa |
| Charles Hoy Fort |
Rant: Showers of Living Things
Rant: Perhaps Hopping Colts From The Book of the Damned
Rant: By Krakatoa From The Book of the Damned
Rant: Two Bodies from Wild Talents
Fiction: The Giant, the Insect, and the Philanthropic-looking Old Gentlemanpart 1
Fiction: The Giant, the Insect, and the Philanthropic-looking Old Gentlemanpart 2 |
| Chris Hebert |
Fiction: The Failure of Sainthood among the Damned |
| Christopher Mulrooney |
Poetry: Nue Sue Revue |
| Claire King |
Rant: The Idiot's Guide to Attila the Hun |
| Clinton Palanca |
Rant: On Cheese: A Filipino Restaurateur Reflects on Law and Order |
| D.C. Fields |
Poetry: Switch |
| Dan Winterstein |
Fiction: Mr Lipowicz's Liver |
| Daphna El-Roy |
Poetry: Custom-Made
Poetry: Fire Escape
Poetry: The Piece That Fell Off
Poetry: The Very Last Supper
Poetry: Sideways Shot
Poetry: Cysticercosis
Poetry: Unprivate Death Collection
Poetry: Rain
Poetry: Courage
Poetry: You Are My Playground |
| David Bricker |
Rant: Any Country That Calls It Grog Is OK in My Book |
| David Erik Nelson |
Rant: The Invention of the English
Rant: We Whistlers in the Graveyard
Rant: My Kid Sister Has Cancer
Poetry: Shakespeare's Sonnet #130 on Acid
Poetry: Love Song of T. Alva Edison
Fiction: The Tendency to Draw Together
Fiction: Another Locked Room
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Prologue
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 1
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 2
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 3
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 4
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 5
Fiction: 1K+1 Astral Nights: Cycle 1, Packet 6
Fiction: The Gingerbread Man |
| David Pacheco |
Rant: The Last Time I Saw bin Laden |
| David-Matthew Barnes |
Poetry: Shotgun |
| Dean Bakopoulos |
Fiction: Lemonhead |
| Dr. Jonathan Swift |
Rant: A Modest Proposalfor preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick. |
| EE Böt |
Poetry: Three Pithy Poems |
| Eileen Conner |
Poetry: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE CONGRAT procedure for personal growth |
| Ellen Hayes |
Rant: I Dated a Playboy Playmate |
| Emily Dickinson |
Poetry: Drowning Is Not So Pitiful
Poetry: A Wounded Deer Leaps Highest |
| Erik Garner Warren |
Rant: Mistakes Were Made
Rant: Here's What I Hate About Christmas: All the Fucking Gentiles
Rant: Hobbits Liked to Have Books Filled with Things They Already Knew: Reflections on a Post-Soviet Kazakhstan
Rant: Hobbits Liked to Have Books Filled with Things They Already Knew: Further Reflections on a Post-Soviet Kazakhstan
Fiction: This Is Not A Story |
| Francine DuBois |
Poetry: President Lincoln Never Wore a Turtleneck Sweater |
| Franz Kafka |
Fiction: The Neighbour |
| Fritz Swanson |
Rant: Trains
Rant: On John Irving
Rant: The Pleasure of Being Downa thirty-three dollar rant
Rant: Living On the Moon
Rant: Nostalgia
Rant: CrapLongStories.com: where publishing might go, you know, maybe
Rant: Train Baron Appointed Treasury Secretary; Collection Of 19th Century Cliches Now Complete
Fiction: The Eighth Lines of Stories Never Written
Fiction: The Inspector After the Death of the Great Detective
Fiction: The Spectators |
| Fritz Swanson, Editor |
Fiction: from the Witch Lake Reader |
| G. Chartrand and L. Lesniak |
Poetry: A Lobster is a Tree |
| Genevieve Canceko |
Fiction: So This Is San Diego |
| Georgia Blake |
Rant: A Rebuttal for the "Airborne Fucking Ranger" |
| Geronimo |
Rant: Geronimo's Mightiest Battle
Rant: Coming of the White Men |
| Gordon Smith |
Rant: Britney Spears has Big Boobs
Rant: Kill! Kill! Kill! No Mercy For the Masses!
Rant: Voting Is For Suckers
Rant: That Was One Boring Apocalypse
Rant: Finland, Finland Uber Alles
Rant: The Retail Manifesto, part two If the Customer is Always Right, You Can Suck My Cock
Rant: 911 or Gulf Wars Chapter II: America Strikes Back
Fiction: Here |
| Gordon Smith and Erik Garner Warren |
Rant: Quite Rich |
| Herman Melville |
Poetry: The Maldive Shark |
| Irene Tejaratchi |
Fiction: Spellman, Bastion of Fine Sartorial Standards |
| J. Daniel Janzen |
Fiction: The Surprise Witness
Fiction: Yours Truly |
| J.E.C. |
Rant: The Problem of Evil
Rant: The Problem of Communism; or Why It's Bad To Have an MBA as President
Rant: Don't Fear the Reefer
Rant: The Madness of King George |
| Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm |
Fiction: The Story of the Youth Who Went Forth to Learn What Fear Was |
| James Henry Ingram |
Fiction: A.D. 755 From the 1823 translation of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle |
| James Monteith |
Poetry: If The Earth Were a Glass Ball |
| James P. Miller |
Rant: Brittany, We're Coming to Get You |
| Jason Gurley |
Fiction: Of Pocket Knives, Tackle Boxes and Women in Bathing Suits |
| Jason Kirk |
Rant: My, Has She Ever Aged Shamefully
Poetry: Saint Cecilia: World Party Telegramvitætion |
| Jason Michael |
Rant: Why Do All These Bands Have Numbers in Their Names?
Rant: Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me?
Rant: I Have Precious Little Indie Cred
Fiction: A Faster, More Scalable Afterlife |
| Jeff Garito |
Poetry: Boardinghouse Haiku |
| Jefrey Scattini |
Poetry: Friends' Bar |
| Jennifer Metsker |
Poetry: Think Tank |
| Jeremy Gregersen |
Poetry: Familiar |
| Jerry Vilhotti |
Fiction: Deep Purple Dream
Fiction: Eyes of a Dead Man |
| Jessica Dzwigalski |
Rant: Warning: Excessive Use May Result in Loss of Motor Skills |
| Jim Oliver |
Rant: Don't Let Them Kid You, It'll Be Back Next Year. |
| Jim Ruland |
Fiction: Scenes from Being Bill Walton |
| Jim Therkalsen |
Rant: What I Really Want to See On Television |
| Joe Boland |
Poetry: House of Correction |
| John Eidswick |
Fiction: The New Wine |
| John Sakkis |
Poetry: Before Navaronne
Poetry: Alevas Hotel
Poetry: Santa Cruz |
| Johnny Retail |
Rant: The Retail Manifesto, part one
Rant: What I Don't Want for Christmas, or The Johnny Retail Xmas Rant. |
| Jonathan Farlow |
Fiction: The Woodpecker and Blossom Hit the Road, part 1 of 4
Fiction: The Woodpecker and Blossom Hit the Road, part 2 of 4
Fiction: The Woodpecker and Blossom Hit the Road, part 3 of 4
Fiction: The Woodpecker and Blossom Hit the Road, part 4 of 4
Fiction: How To Take The Hunt Out Of The Hunter |
| Jorge Sanchez |
Poetry: Beginning: A Palindrome |
| June Warden |
Poetry: Crocuses Are Coming Up |
| Katie Williams |
Fiction: The Tightrope Walker Story |
| Lady Charlotte Guest |
Fiction: The Dream of Maxen Welig |
| Louisa May Alcott |
Fiction: Perilous Play, part 1
Fiction: Perilous Play, part 2 |
| Lucas Kovar |
Rant: Perfect Day
Rant: Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass
Rant: In Praise of Close-Mindedness A Manifesto for the Thoughtful Asshole |
| Luke Bruhns |
Rant: Musings After Overtime at the Porn Factory
Rant: Live Nude Girls |
| M@LONE |
Rant: Devil's Night |
| MLQ3 |
Rant: I Am a Bootlicker |
| Manish Raiji |
Rant: Toward a Unified Theory of Touch
Rant: Just a Maryland Moment |
| Manu Chander |
Poetry: Lower Tar and Nicotine |
| Manuel L. Quezon III |
Rant: The Promise
Rant: Kill the Karaoke Singer
Fiction: It Don't Mean a Thing: Part One
Fiction: It Don't Mean a Thing: Part Two |
| Marcy Jarvis |
Poetry: Tussie-Mussie
Poetry: Floret
Poetry: Chaplet
Poetry: Introit
Fiction: Leaves of Absence |
| Margaret Lazarus Dean |
Fiction: Countess Tolstoi and Mrs. Nabokov Reminisce in Heaven
Fiction: A Brief Primer on the Grammar of Office |
| Mark Jarman |
Poetry: Unholy Sonnet #9
Poetry: Unholy Sonnet #18 |
| Mark Twain |
Rant: Wit Inspirations Of The "Two-Year-Olds"
Rant: Advice to Little Girls
Rant: The Danger of Lying in Bed
Rant: My Watch: An Instructive Little Tale
Rant: Information Wanted
Rant: The Curious Republic Of Gondour
Rant: A Memory
Fiction: The Story of the Bad Little Boy
Fiction: The Story of the Good Little Boy |
| Marni Borek |
Fiction: Missing Invisible |
| Martin Rutley |
Poetry: 1973 |
| Matthew Wascovich |
Poetry: Half a Dime in the Desert
Poetry: Dean and the Graduated Dinner
Poetry: Above the Urban Study
Poetry: In a Studio on Perkins |
| Melanie Kenny |
Poetry: Now Entering the Floating City
Poetry: Refrain
Poetry: Secrets in the Floating City
Poetry: Une Semaine de Bonte in the Floating City
Poetry: Nourriture
Poetry: The Baedekker Author Addresses the Floating City
Poetry: Cartography
Poetry: The Master Thief Courts the Public Librarian
Poetry: Trajectory
Poetry: The Dirigible Survior
Poetry: Crucible: The Dirigible Survivor in Love
Poetry: The Canal Digger Tells a Story
Poetry: The Astronomist's Notebook |
| Michael Hoffman |
Fiction: Tick-Tock
Fiction: The Golden Key
Fiction: Mutilationist |
| Morgan Johnson |
Rant: What's With All These Zombies?
Rant: On the Difficulty on Ascertaining Normal and Recognizing Costumes (a field study)a thirty-three dollar rant
Rant: 1001 Uses for a Container
Fiction: The Famous and Talented Horror Author
Fiction: Confessions of a Game Show Terrorist
Fiction: Whispering into the Sky |
| Nadine Antoinette Maestas |
Poetry: Exercise IIThe case of the misplaced ace in hand |
| Nathaniel Hawthorne |
Fiction: The Devil in Manuscript
Fiction: The Maypole of Merry Mount |
| Nicholas Buzanski |
Poetry: Observance |
| Nicholas Harp |
Poetry: Tetherball : An Explanation |
| Nicola Bruno |
Poetry: A Marmot in The City
Poetry: MELTDOWN |
| Nicole Aimee Roux |
Poetry: On this Ferris Wheel |
| Nicole Boback |
Rant: Shuffle Your Own Damn Papers
Rant: Sympathy |
| Norman Lock |
Fiction: Dreaming Moriarty |
| Pappy Hants |
Rant: Capitalist Pigs Deserve No More Moral Clarity Than the Rest of Us |
| Paul Durica |
Fiction: Mr. Oakley |
| Paul Genesius Durica |
Fiction: Harding in Alaska |
| Paul Hardacre |
Poetry: The Beetling Rocks
Poetry: Charon To Make-Up
Poetry: Third In Three Days |
| Penelope Talbert |
Poetry: tuesday, three p m |
| Presley Waits |
Rant: Clitoris: The Anatomical Gerund |
| Radhika Sharma |
Rant: Honey I Shrank My Pants |
| Ralph the Airborne Ranger |
Rant: A Rebuttal for the Nonviolent Liberal
Rant: St. Joeseph and the Fish Flies
Rant: A Rebuttal for A Rebuttal of A Rebuttal . . . i think this has gone too far |
| Reid Baer |
Poetry: Feeling A Little Persecuted
Poetry: Modern Day Politician
Poetry: The Walking Man's Prayer |
| Rich Furman |
Poetry: Por Que
Poetry: Kisses
Poetry: Never to Meet
Poetry: Angry Chickens |
| Riley Hoffman and Morgan Johnson |
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 1
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 2
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 3
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 4
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 5
Fiction: The Love Letters of Jack Warren and Devon March, part 6 |
| Rob Miller |
Rant: I Have This Fucked Up New Job
Rant: My New Job Is WAY More Fucked Up Than I Thought |
| Robert Y. Rabiee |
Fiction: Trying Not To Laugh Out Loud
Fiction: Jeremy And The Lord |
| Rochelle Hope Mehr |
Poetry: The Medium and the Message |
| Roy Johnson |
Fiction: Tart, part 1 of 4
Fiction: Tart, part 2 of 4
Fiction: Tart, part 3 of 4
Fiction: Tart, part 4 of 4 |
| Sally McBootykins (formerly known as the Giant Squid) |
Rant: What Greatly Displeases Me in the Current Executive Administration |
| Sappho of Lesbos |
Poetry: We Know This Much |
| Sara Schneider |
Rant: The Retail Manifesto, part threeNot to Beat a Dead Horse, But Please . . .
Poetry: My Angel |
| Sara Schneider and Fritz Swanson |
Rant: It's All Jim Lehrer's Fault |
| Sarah Erdreich |
Poetry: Touch
Poetry: Like a Calvin Klein Ad |
| Sarah Whitney Womack |
Rant: On the French and their Friggin ChickensA Letter from a Provencal Kitchen |
| Scott Berzon |
Poetry: Colorado . . . Blue |
| Sea Stachura |
Poetry: Mr. Donner Hallucinates Jesus Speaking From The Last Supper.April, 1847 |
| Sean Norton |
Poetry: Transporter Room |
| Shannon Kyle Beasley |
Fiction: 12 |
| Sir Francis Bacon |
Rant: Of The Impediments of Knowledge in Handling It by Parts, And in Slipping Off Particular Sciences from the Root and Stock of Universal Knowledge, Being the 8th Chapter, The Whole Chapter.(from Valerius Terminus) |
| Stefan Kiesbye |
Fiction: Apartment on Niagara Street, Buffalo NY
Fiction: Kaspar
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 1-4
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 5-7
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 8 and 9
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 10-12
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapter 13
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 14-16
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 17 and 18
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 19 and 20
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 21 and 22
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapter 23
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 24-26
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 27-29
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 30-32
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 33-35
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 34-37
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 38-41
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 42-44
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 45-46
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 47-49
Fiction: In Wedersen Chapters 50-53 |
| Stephen Leacock |
Fiction: The Errors of Santa Claus |
| Taco es Guido es Stupido es Guadalupe |
Fiction: Karma Fucks Back |
| Terence S. Hawkins |
Rant: Protocols of the Elders of Sweden
Rant: My Summer Vacation
Rant: My Summer Vacation Redux
Rant: "Pussy Bomb" Latest Threat Says Ashcroft, FBI
Rant: Another Church Shocker: "Fuck It!" Says Resigning Cardinal
Rant: Ruth Handler: Death Of A Tit Man
Rant: Is There A Retard Specialist In the House?
Rant: The New Gender Politics of Draining the Lizard
Fiction: The Minnow Files
Fiction: Why I Don't Explain How I Lost My Sweater
Fiction: A Fragment from Raymond Chandler's First Scenario for the Sopranos
Fiction: Hey Baby |
| Terrence McWee |
Fiction: Taint or: "Tod" means death in German, the very language of Death |
| The Creative Witting Workshop at Western Wayne Women's Correctional Facility |
Poetry: A Mother's Love
Poetry: Freedom Poem |
| Tobias Seamon |
Fiction: The Hangman's Salon |
| Tom Plain-and-Tall |
Rant: A Rebuttal for Johnny Retail |
| Urquiza Vicente |
Poetry: Memorabilia
Poetry: Proof That Felines and Women Invented the Subconscious |
| Zacarias Moussaoui |
Rant: Motion to Stipulate my RIGHT AND DUTY TO LIVE ON THIS EARTH A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE (with Four Wives), and to Stop This Judge Misrepresenting My Fight for Life |
| b. |
Rant: Batteries |
| from Heimskringla |
Fiction: Yule in Ancient Norway |
| syndicated advice columnist the Giant Squid and Rob, his lab assistant) |
Fiction: On Parables |
| the Giant Squid |
Rant: On the Meaning of Thanksgiving;the full text of a speech given by the Giant Squid to the assembled orphans of Our Lady of Fatima.
Fiction: What I Am Telling You When I Tell You of Love |
| the PMjA Staff |
Rant: Page 617 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
Rant: Here's What I Hate About Christmas: Erik Garner Warren is a Jerk
Rant: Page 707 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
Rant: Page 319 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
Rant: Page 321 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
Rant: Poor Mojo is One Year Old!
Rant: What Should be in *Your* Submission?
Rant: A Selection of Christmas Headlines |
| the PMjA Staff) |
Rant: If You Come Only Once, You've Been Cheated: A Post-Structuralist Examination of the Hegemony of the "Pure" and "Sordid"[1] |
